Friday, August 31, 2012

I've been bullied

It has happened to most of us.
We have been the victim of bullying one way or another.

I thought this kind of behavior would end after my middle school/high school days and until this week that has been the case.

Saturday was one of the best days of my life so far.
Covered in color, laughing non-stop. It was awesome.

Then I came home and read a comment from one of my VEDA vlogs:

"Now I see why you're still fat....I was like how are you still big and you run so much? Now I see why! If you'd clean up your diet and lose the fat, your arms and legs wouldnt be so fat! Also, your face would clear up too, fro yo isnt the answer!"

 I sat there and stared at that comment for awhile.
I texted a picture of it to 4 people, Eddie-Alison-Lauren-Mom
All of them had the same reaction that I did, "How could someone be SO mean?"

Alison brought up a good point as we were texting back and forth, she said " Unfortunately it comes with the territory of putting yourself online."

She's right.
BUT that should not be the case.
I should not be worrying about screen names attacking my weight, OR my body.

This morning I woke up to another comment on my VEDA vlog from last night :

"You're a chunky something lol look at those thunder thighs and big ol arms......upper body work will prob do u good! Damn girl I didn't know you were that big!"

This time I laughed. 
How could someone who knows NOTHING about me say such hurtful things.

YouTube has become one of the most common places for rude people to congregate and attack.
With websites like GOMI and Trash a Guru people are being picked apart on a daily basis for no other reason then putting themselves online.

That is bullshit.
Why would someone think it is okay to make up a screen name, hide behind a computer and bully others?

I think about all of the things I don't like about my body on a daily basis.
I started a blog to CHANGE those things and document my progress.
If you don't like me or my videos, stop reading/watching.

I do not need some fake account pointing out my flaws or exposing my insecurities.
We do that enough to ourselves.

It's sad that this is the world we live in.

Fortunately enough I am stronger then those words. I know better then to let them affect me in a negative way, even though it may not sound that way right now. 
What worries me is those who are not as strong. 
The teenagers who are bullied every single day for being themselves.

It's wrong and it HAS to stop.

If you have been bullied on the Internet or otherwise, please know you are not alone. 
You are better then those words.
Better then those people.
And I am behind you 100%.

Don't ever hesitate to email/tweet/facebook me, I will listen :)

I love you all!


  1. Clearly the person writing those posts are really talking about themselves and projecting it onto you and others in a sad attempt to make themselves feel better. I doubt it's working for them any better than it's working to make you feel bad about yourself.

    Chin up lady! You are awesome ;)

  2. ARRGGGHHHH. I want to slap those people!!! Where do they get off?! RUDE. BEYOND RUDE. My mouth is just hanging open, yet, I feel like I shouldn't be surprised. People sit there, from the safety of their computers {like cowards} and say whatever they want. I've been bullied, too. Thank goodness I actually used it as my fuel to press on, which is what I do now, when it happens again. But it doesn't hurt any less, deep down. Anyhow, IGNORE them. YOU rock!!

  3. Internet trolls are sometimes the worst kind of bullies. It's so easy to sit behind a screen and type hurtful drivel.

    I don't believe in just accepting it because you have an internet presence. These people need to be called out for their disgusting comments and behavior.

    Only a couple of days ago an Australian TV presenter ended up in hospital after having people on Twitter telling her to go hang herself, to which many others joined in.

    Whenever internet trolls strike I think of this comedy routine by Tig Notaro (, and how many filters it must go through a person's brain and yet they still choose to make their comments.

    I was always taught that if I didn't have anything nice to say, to not say anything at all. Unfortunately not everyone follows the same philosophy.

  4. CARLYN YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME. Don't let people who don't even go outside to see the light of day or engage in real human interaction because they are too busy being internet super-trolls make you (or anyone) think ANY different of what you do, what you put online, or how you live your life!

    I think its important for everyone to keep in mind that sometimes the meanest anonymous comments etc. come from people who are still children themselves. Like you said, mean-spirited bullying is prevalent in middle-school/high school aged kids.. but unlike our days in school, they carry their misguided peer-pressured meanness online.

    To sum up, do not give immaturity or IGNORANCE a second thought. You freakin rock.

  5. Oh that is horrible!!! So sorry that happened to you girl! But don't you worry about it! You are a huge inspiration to many people! Don't let one or two jealous people get you down!

  6. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that! That is not fair to you when what you are trying to do is get healthier, some people just have nothing better to do with their lives than bring other people down. Way to take the high road girl!

  7. First off, what a well writen post. Your strength and maturity (despite the situation) show through beautifully. Second, it still amazes me how rude, ignorant, and hurtful people can be.

    You have come so far, so please do not let ignorant people hault or discount all of your accomplishments (both physical and internal).

    And most importantly when this happens just remember that blue cornstarch taste and how much fun we all had on Saturday :)

  8. What a great post, and so well written. I went through a similiar situation whenever I first started blogging. Just like you, I was upset at first. However, when I actually thought about it.. there was no reason to be. They don't know you, only know what they see & read. People can be so mean, and not realize that words do hurt from time to time. Glad you were able to ignore it, and not let it get the best of you :)

  9. Sorry you had to experience that!

    You are amazing. Know that!

  10. oh my gosh. i am actually laughing at this as i type. the fact that someone could be so ignorant and ridiculous is honestly comical. i'd like to say a few things..
    1. you're NOT even close to being "fat"
    2. you do not have thunder thighs
    3. you work hard, and you play hard. i admire you for that
    4. you share your goals and dreams. they inspire me everyday.
    5. you share awesome recipes and the fun that you have daily. it makes you very personal and gives me great ideas for new fun things to try.

    thank you for being you, and do not EVER let someone's stupid comments (due to their own jealously, self loathing, insecurities etc.) bother you. love you and tons of SPA support for you today, girlie!!!

  11. Way to keep your chin up and move past the mean things that people sometimes say! It's sad that they have nothing better to do with their time than try to tear someone else down. Keep up the great work! SPA love!

  12. first, that person has no balls because they didn't post their name or email. Comments like that are so false and also so unnecessary. You are sharing your thoughts, your feelings, YOU not what they think you should do. I am sorry you had to deal with that, I hate that about the online world. I think you are an inspiration so keep it up!

  13. I had a comment on my Facebook page saying 'every fatty is talking about fitness these days' it hurt at first but then I thought thats just one comment it is far outweighed by all the positive comments, you're doing great Carlyn and are such an inspiration, so when u get a negative comment go back and read one of the positive ones and remember you are awesome!!!!

  14. Oh I'm so sorry you had those mean comments. That's how it is on Youtube. I get them all the time. Even when I reached my goal...people said I had thunder thighs that I should get a boob job, that I have a boyish figure. And most of the time those mean comments are from people who have NO pictures or videos and they are people that see you happy and want to tear you down. You are amazing and should continue without paying attn to attention seeking losers. <333

  15. I'm sorry about those mean comments. People can be so weird and rude and ignorant. One thing I try to keep in mind is that happy, confident people don't say those types of things. Happy, confident people DO kill their workouts on a daily basis and infuse the internet with positive energy and pink! :D

  16. Mean people suck. And they almost always are cowards and not happy with something about themselves. Good for you for sharing your story and helping so many other people! Sharing your struggles and triumphs makes you human and makes you a role model for others. Keep you head up, girl!

  17. Wow how hurtful. Those people are probably self-conscious teenagers, or uneducated...or were raised without morals! Ugh! Sorry just went off about them haha but it's horrible that someone feels like that's okay. You are awesome and are doing amazing things so try to brush it off!! :)

  18. I think we should start a falsh mob of dropping goodness bombs on random people's vlogs and blogs....Let people know that there is still godo out there?

  19. Wow. So sorry to hear you were a victim of this nonsense. But I am glad to know that you are not going to let it shake you up at all. Good to expose the creeps, though. Good for you!

  20. Seriously? I hate when people hide behind a computer. You are DEFINITELY taking the high road here, I commend you for that. You are honest and what they said is ridiculous. We're not all toothpicks, we're healthy active women and never claimed to be otherwise. I hope these people realize their stupidity.

  21. Oh my god that is horrible!! I can't believe somebody would say something like that! Well... actually I can. People are just horrible. Especially when they can hide behind their anonymity on a computer screen. It comes with the territory of being "somebody" online.

    Hopefully you get TONS more nice and loving comments that make stupid comments like that irrelevant. Don't worry... you're not alone in this. A few months ago I had somebody comment on my blog and say that anybody who sleeps with me is disgusting. And the post wasn't even about sex! I was horrified and obviously had to delete the comment because it was inappropriate. It still bugs me to this day, but I think it really helped me appreciate all the sweet comments that I do get.

    Keep your chin up! You're awesome, girl :)

  22. I think you're doing great and I love seeing your Instagram pics! Keep up your hard work-you will be rewarded. :)

  23. Seriously, people just SUCK sometimes! I do not understand why someone would take time to leave a mean, horrible comment. Douche bags! Don't listen to are doing amazing things and making changes daily. THAT is what this is all about!! :)

  24. The anonymity of the internet makes for the worst kind of bullies. I'm sorry that it happened to you. You've got a good attitude about it all. People who do things like that are just pathetic losers.

  25. Tracey S @SupplementGalSeptember 1, 2012 at 12:56 AM

    LOVE you and your videos! So sad that people have nothing better to do than trash on others. Proud of you for putting your story out there! Much love and props to you.

  26. What everybody else said! We love you Carlyn!!!

  27. Trolls! With blogging come the trolls. It's sad that this is what the get their kicks from. You are wise to rise above this ignorance. You are a beautiful girl who is an inspiration to many. I'm a new reader but can already see and appreciate how hard you work to be healthy. Keep it up girl!

  28. It has been a while since I have stopped by your blog. But I wanted to let you know that you have made a huge transformation from the last time i visited your blog!! Way to go. And for mean people, they are just jealous and pathetic!

  29. Girl, I admire you! Every post in your blog inspires me. Seriously.

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