Saturday, January 7, 2017

The "befores" and looking for my AH-HA moment

Thursday night was our official BodyBack kick-off meeting. Over 30 moms and 6 coaches sat in a room for close to two hours discussing how we will attack the next 8 weeks, together. We shared stories, took our before pictures and got our measurements done. It was so refreshing to be back in a place where even though our end goals may be different, we all shared similar wants/needs and struggles. 

This is not my first weight loss journey but it's very different this time around, it is so much more difficult to lose this time around because I don't have time to put myself first all day, everyday. 

Before the meeting I took my own pictures to share here as my accountability for myself. This corner of the internet helped me lose 50+ lbs before and I am hoping it can help me lose 35lbs now. 

My body has done amazing things, it has given me my Molly and I need to remind myself of that when I start to get down on how I look. But I also need to stop justifying eating crap because I am tired or lazy after a long day of working and being a mom. If I can spend the time making sure she is eating the best foods, I can do that for myself too.

Last night I ate two Reese's trees for no other reason than I wanted them and didn't care that they weren't clean or healthy. We went food shopping earlier in the day but I didn't feel like making a meal, so I opted for candy on the couch. Thirty minutes later I felt so sick that I ended up in bed from eating them. 

Worth it? 

I asked Eddie to remind me of this moment when I say I want to eat candy/junk or if he sees me reaching for it. 
 Five years ago I would never even consider doing something like that and I need whatever it was that clicked for me then to click now. There are too many times I find myself reaching for chips/snacks instead of clean/whole foods, I know what to do but I am not doing it. 

WHY am I not doing it? 
WHY am I standing in my own way?

My goal over the next 8 weeks is to figure out the answers to these questions and hopefully have my "ah-ha" moment. I want to get back to the place of wanting the best for myself and my body, because I deserve it.

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