Friday, October 5, 2012

The Epiphany...I binge

Last night Eddie and I went out for dinner at our local diner.
 By the time we arrived I was past starving and all I could think about was french fries.
For some reason when my hunger kicks into overdrive, I make poor decisions in the eating department.

Please tell me I am not the only one.

When it was time to order Eddie picked a farmers omelet and I went with a wrap.
However, I felt it wasn't going to be enough (low blood sugar thoughts) and decided we needed an appetizer.

 I chose bacon cheese fries with ranch dressing.

As soon as the waiter walked away Eddie looked at me and said "What are you doing?! I'm trying to be healthy and you just ordered bacon cheese fries. You don't even like bacon!"
Which is 100% true. I rarely eat bacon, but for some reason, I ordered it.
 I wasn't trying to sabotage his or my weight loss journeys but I let my hunger get the best of me and in turn made a bad decision... For both of us.

I know you're thinking, what's the big deal? Why is she telling us about this? 
It's just cheese fries.

However, I recognized I have a problem and this is my outlet to change it. Too often I find myself saying
 "When I go out to eat, I can have whatever I want."

I need to learn that going out to eat doesn't mean go out and eat crap.
 I also realized then when my hunger reaches a point of starvation, I reach for anything and everything which leads to a binge.

I don't do that.

But the truth is: I do. 
I just never noticed it until last night.

I ate most of the fries, my entire wrap, a bite of Eddie's home fries AND a piece of toast.

I had an epiphany after dinner.
I played it off in my vlog like it was no big deal when Eddie and I were discussing our meal together.
But it was a huge eye opener for me, I do have a problem.

I work so hard in the gym and when I make poor decisions like I did last night, it negates all of my work.

 I cook and eat almost every meal at home. 
I love eating healthy.
I feel best when fruits, vegetables, and unprocessed foods are the base of my diet.
My mood and energy directly reflects my eating habits:
Healthy eating = happy and energetic.
Unhealthy eating = sluggish and bitchy

There are so many healthy options on menus and even if you don't find something suitable for your dietary needs, restaurants will accommodate you (most of the time). I just didn't choose them last night.
This morning I woke up and had to deal with the consequences of my decision. I had puffy fingers and an unquenchable thirst...due to over consumption of sodium. 
Crazy right?

Either way lesson learned. I have to keep bars/trail mix on me at all times so I don't allow my blood sugar to crash and take over. I want to focus on making better choices when I go out to eat, and kick those  
" I don't go out often, I can eat whatever I want," thoughts to the curb.

Eating 80/20 or living a life of balance does not mean binge eating unhealthy foods when hunger strikes.
I need to remember that.


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